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Back Stabbing Bitches

Revenge is a false sense of closure. Attempting to take emotional control of a situation. And/Or being competitive out of insecurity. Trying to shift from the “bottom feeders” to positions of “power”. We obviously care about the other’s feelings… that’s why we want them to experience “a taste of their own medicine”… at least have SOME emotional impact on them. Subconsciously attempting to get them to sympathize and suffer with us. Repeating a cycle of hurt, insecurity,  and mistreatment. In this process, you truly never feel good about yourself. Temporarily, the ego feels inflated and accomplished. Then the burning, stomach-twisting, gut gnaws at your fleeting satisfaction. Causing you to overcompensate and overturn this guilt-ridden pain. People can carry on in this state and try numbing or distracting themselves from these strong feelings. Pressing it down deep inside themselves. What was once a hurtful situation could become a deep rooted, behavioral, issue/pattern. Eventually, you could become overtaken by it until it comes out in a HUGE burst… sometimes, it’s public, ugly, and “deadly”.

People who have a reputation of hurting other’s are extremely hurt themselves. That’s why it’s important to be honest and try monitoring our behaviors. We ALL can be TOTALLY unaware of our patterns. A reputation implies a history of repeated behaviors… otherwise that reputation wouldn’t exist. We can start acting in an unusual way that is not characteristic of how we see ourselves… we should start examining why we’re behaving that way. A few common examples could be… Saying to self, “I noticed I’ve been more promiscuous than I’d like to be. What am I truly looking for and why am I getting these results?” Or,  for a few days, someone you’re close with tells you, “I’ve noticed for the last couple days, you’ve seemed very agitated”. That is revealing because maybe you were having a tough week… to the point where it’s taken a toll on you and is surfacing. Pushing things down is easy to do and it’s important to call conscious awareness to our issues. All that tension is bound to surface.

EASIER SAID THAN DONE. Exactly! Call me when you master being human. We are complex and range in thousands of emotions during one day! Saying this, it’s caused me to have more patience and understanding with those who’ve hurt me. We can be totally unaware of ourselves. People could even point things out to us and we can’t hear them…. maybe we aren’t ready to hear and understand what’s being said. We can become defensive out of reaction. Being able to relate to people is freeing. Sometimes, we don’t necessarily excuse but still understand.

Don’t worry… it’ll just cause wrinkles! These back stabbing bitches probably truly care for YOU and what YOU think. There’s some hott, hurt, messes that you may not need in your life but you can save room in your heart for them. Sometimes, balance is keeping a safe distance with love.

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