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I Need to Reclaim My Energy Damnit!

When I heard Daniel Bryan on Colt Cabana’s podcast years ago it changed my Life. In one of his stories he reflects on a time when a yoga instructor challenged him and his dojo amigos to not complain for (I think) 30 days. I decided I was down to take the challenge. After a week I looked at Life on a completely different level. It was whole other dimension. I tell my sister everything and when I would go to complain to her I would stop, think about why I was upset, understand what was really bothering me and then would tell her “never mind I figured it out.” That’s when my world shifted. I realized when I complain I often lose myself in distracts that don’t even matter. Result? I would be filled with anger, depression and put my walls up high. I just didn’t want to live that way anymore. Once the lesson began I felt completely uplifted in a way that is not of this world. After the 30 days I made another challenge to myself. I said I wouldn’t complain for a year. I know it sounds silly or impossible but I did it! I documented most of it on my old YouTube channel and one of my old sites. When I shared my experiences people would write thanking me for what I post, it helped them. Something that totally made my year was when female wrestlers were effected by my journey. Wrestling is a tough business but when you are a female it changes the whole game.

Through out the last few years I have experiences the worst disappointments to date. Life beat me up and I lost the gal I discovered when I wasn’t complaining. Slowly I have been finding myself kicking out 😉 but damnit people effin’ let me the eff down. Everyday I pray that God will heal my heart and I have to tell you something, lately God has aligned AMAZING SOULS back into my Life. People who were always there for me, we separated to take care of business, the business let us down and now effortlessly we are reconnected. I never watch Total Divas but lately I got curious and checked some episodes out On Demand. I like it! It stirs up some real emotions in me at times but I feel the show is well done. Today I thought why not check out a new episode. I’ve been going through a lot lately and have been trying to get back into my routines. I thought why not do cardio with the Divas? The story, of course, highlights Brian and his wife Brie and for some reason today when I was watching I got triggered. Last year I had a dream about Brian. I couldn’t remember the details just that I was watching him and I knew to pay attention because it was important to my Life. That’s when it hit me! I need to stop complaining and realign who I am within. When I am at my best, or at least trying to be, the people I love receive Love and Light in it’s purest form. I owe these people who have been there for me when I cry, am angry, scared, feel alone. Their Pure Love uplifted my soul now it’s time to pay it forward.

I hope all this makes sense and perhaps someone out there can relate. I just felt that I was meant to share this story. I don’t know why. Maybe the biggest reason to share is to actually sit back and think about what I am about to write. It’s allowing me to process what I felt moments ago with a clear mind. No distractions, no anxiety…just being in the moment and recognizing it all. ONE Love and extra positive vibes to Brian and Colt for the inspirado.

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