ShellyMartinez.net Shelly Feeling Me, Feeling Free

Feeling Me, Feeling Free



It’s been a gnarly couple of years but I gotta say it feels good to feel me again ?. Accepting wrestling for what it is really is effed with me mentally. While I was trying to sort out my feelings I bleached my hair and gained 25lbs ?. My hair randomly fell out giving me a unintentional mullet and the weight gain was partially a result of going back in the depo birth control shot ?. All of this was a toxic combo for me and I fell into deep depression. My hair is grown out, I’m closer to my fitness goal and back on track with my mental/spiritual health. What’s crazy is this has happened to me before. Remember years ago when I “broke up with wrestling?”

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Feeling Me, Feeling Free

May 10, 2018

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Shelly

It’s been a gnarly couple of years but I gotta say it feels good to feel me again ?. Accepting wrestling for what it is really is effed with me mentally. While I was trying to sort out my feelings I bleached my hair and gained 25lbs ?. My hair randomly fell out giving me a unintentional mullet and the weight gain was partially a result of going back in the depo birth control shot ?. All of this was a toxic combo for me and I fell into deep depression. My hair is grown out, I’m closer to my fitness goal and back on track with my mental/spiritual health. What’s crazy is this has happened to me before. Remember years ago when I “broke up with wrestling?”



I haven’t watched this in years!!!! I vividly remember shooting this. I was so disgusted with the wrestling world and the people around me. I filmed this video during Wrestle Reunion in LA (now known as Wrestlecon) in a RV Danielle and I used to have access to. I had to get away from the convention to get this off my chest. After that day I didn’t do much in wrestling for years. I gained weight, was on the depo shot and fell into depression. What I discovered was a lost passion of mine that wrestling seemed to always take away from me, filmmaking and podcasting. After I stopped feeling sorry for myself I learned how to edit, shoot and run my own website. Of course wrestling came back into my life, I got all distracted AGAIN and now here we are today.

I guess it was my season to lose myself so I can rediscover who I am, who I always have been and where I want to be. I’ve had some discouraging moments but when reflecting it’s so clear. EVERYTHING was a lesson to guide me back on the right path so I can continue my journey with a sense of confidence that I’ve lacked in the past. Oh life, you’re a gas…

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